we're blogging at a bar
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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