I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
