That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We are all done wearing pants today
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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