your room smells of hookers.
And success
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
