She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
