Having a random hookup so left but love u
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
