Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
