Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
