Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize