Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize