You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
