whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
