didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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