It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
