physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize