my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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