Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
