Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
