i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
