you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
