Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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