Soap is not a condiment
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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