I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
