Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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