yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
