Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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