Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
