A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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