I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
