Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
