He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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