And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
