If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize