? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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