so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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