I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think my moral compass just broke
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
