just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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