Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
