I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
