someone get that fucking seahorse.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
