i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
