He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
