When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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