Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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