I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
