The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
