the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
