hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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