last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
