Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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