I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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