Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
