i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Found your dick twin last night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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