I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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