Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We left an ass print on the piano.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
