I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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