Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
