I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I love having hate sex.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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