What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
