I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
