im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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