The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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