Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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