Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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