walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
