Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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