But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
