You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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