so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
