Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
